Cinema Purgatorio

It’s said there’s no such thing as coincidence. I’m not sure what the cosmos is trying to tell me about the Goss brothers, but Julia and I bumped into Luke at the Chateau Marmont last weekend. He was there having meetings with film makers who see him as a hot property after his success in “Hellboy II.” He told us he has five films in the pipeline. And he’s still happily married to singer Shirley Lewis after 22 years. We love stories like that, don’t we, ladies?

In Hollyweird, the more meetings you have, the more successful you are. It felt good to be having a meeting of our own with Mary McGuckian. She told us our movie looked a tad vulnerable last week, because of that pesky global financial crisis. The head of media at her main bank even said that the staff wasn’t able to make international calls for a while. I won’t mention the name of the bank, for fear of causing a run on it and losing our funding.

She said we won’t be getting our plane tickets to France until the week before we fly out, so I should stop worrying that it won’t happen. That’s easy for her to say. In the next breath, she informed me that I’ve been dropped from a scene due to time constraints, so shan’t be needed for the first two days of the shoot after all.

On a positive note, she did say that people who’ve seen the edited footage think it’s terrific and the movie will be a hit (she would say that, wouldn’t she?), and then we can make the movie based on Plus One, then a sequel and call it “Plus Two.” Actually, I said, the sequel’s called “Plus One More.” Or maybe “Claire Fordham and the Goblet of Fire.”

It would be grand if “The Making of Plus One” is a hit, because the option for Plus One has reverted to me. The conflict in “The Making of…” centers on whether it’s going to be a small, independent movie or a big studio picture starring Cate Blanchett and Kate Winslet. How ironic and brilliant it would be (for me and my descendants) if “The Making of…” is a smash and, when the film based on my book is made, that there’s a similar conflict. Kind of art imitating art.

Julia and I had a little disagreement as to which Cate/Kate would play her and me. Mary made a note to use that conflict in this film. I had to concede that Cate Blanchett would have to eat a lot more cake if she wants to play me.

Driving home, I was fantasizing about the film version of my book. Luke Goss could play Julia’s boyfriend. And instead of being a sound engineer (as he is in the book), we’ll make him a drummer in her band, so we can get in some drummer jokes. By the time it gets made, Dakota Fanning and Abigail Breslin will be playing Julia and me with Cate Blanchett as our mother.